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"Love is a SCANDAL so i'm just BEING MARY JANE"

Toleration.
I think that's the appropriate word --for side chick business that is.

Love is a tricky game, if you've been in it you understand that. If you have only been teased by it, you may consider it mysterious. If you've been hurt by it you may consider it the opposite of everything it stands for. Sometimes I wonder if love is really hard or if we, the people just make it difficult.
I'd say if love was a person it would be scandalous!

Okay that's a bit extreme but in all honesty I've noticed the trend of single people doing single things (as they should) except the downfall to that scenario is they are engaging with non-single people! And check this out, the non-single people are participating in the shenanigans.
HELLO PEOPLE? What''s going on here? I know it's not unheard of but today its not only heard of, its paraded, praised, and televised.

Maybe conformity. No, no how about acceptance.
To me, there are two very broad  classifications of side chicks:

The Scandalous chick - she plots on him. She know and is fully aware of his relationship. She knows he has a girlfriend. She may know her and most likely follows her on Instagram. She spends a lot of their time together trying to out-do what the girlfriend does, hoping and believing that one day he will leave the girlfriend and complete her happily ever after.

The Accidental chick - She nurse this crush on him with no clue at all he has a girlfriend. They spend a period of time talking before she finds out about her. By that time it's too late. She either is blown by the situation that she wants nothing to do with him OR she doesn't feel obligated to end their encounters because she up to now has really strong feelings for him. She may even love him. She had intentions of having something serious with him. IF she finds out about his girlfriend and decides to stay, she's hoping and believing that one day he will leave the girlfriend and complete her happily ever after.


The other day, I watched [on TV] a side chick give a speech about being number two, accepting it, and made a lot of sense. It was crazy. She justified being a side chick.

Is there any justification of being aside chick?

**We asked our friends over at HoneyAddict to discuss this with us. Here's what they had to say!
In my opinion, conformity may just be the right word to use. Then knowing your worth comes in to play. Love is a gamble but I can agree that individuals make it difficult--hurt people hurt people. Then you get into the scenario of why men cheat-- various reasons, not to make excuses. Now to elaborate on the two classifications of side chicks…


Scandalous Side Chick - A woman who preys on a man usually finds it a challenge because
he’s taken. What about the close friend who is jealous of her friends happy relationship and she
makes the mistake of sharing intimate details which leaves her friend curious.
Accidental Side Chick - They start off dating , they know nothing about each other and they
have no mutual friends. They don’t follow each other on any social networks -- this would get
him caught up. After a while, they’re out in public and she even meets the family, not just his
friends. Months pass, they’ve both invested time and feelings but they haven’t made it official .
Then one day her cousin informs her that he knows her date; he happens to be in a relationship
with a family friend who is expecting their first child. What does she do? You heard that song
“Last Time” by Trey Songz, right?...well that’s your answer.
We can get into justifying a side chick, let’s break it down. -- Olivia Pope and Mary Jane give
these ladies hope!


Women tend to accept the situation depending on where they are in their life. Should morals come into play when choosing to be number two? Or nah? Indulging in a certain behavior because it is socially accepted makes sense when you’re in high school or maybe even the first few years of college. In those stages of your life, you may have a “I want to be a part of the in-crowd,” mentality; but as you mature the things that are important to you begin to change for the better. A woman should know her worth and act as such.

When you are self-assured, you tend to make choices that are of a positive nature. You don’t allow yourself to conform to negative behavior or settle for less! Then there’s women who don’t want all of the things that come with a serious relationship. The deal is to never get attached, if that’s possible.
To the temporary innocent side chick : innocent until proven guilty, once you know he’s in a relationship you become a co-conspirator. When you don’t know he’s in a relationship, isn't there almost always a sign? If you feel like something isn't right, then it’s not. You've been to his house but you never stayed overnight. He’s not into holidays. But wait there’s this: “No pictures please”. Just because you've met his mother doesn't make you special honey she’s in on it too.
At the end of the day willingly or unknowingly being a side chick, your turn will come. How you get them is how you will lose them.


It’s all fun and games, you’re thinking you’re just keeping people out your business but yet he’s keeping you a secret. Until you get that call at 5am asking you “how do you know my fiancé?” What side are you on? Are you a side chick? Do you feel as though it’s fair game?
-Ms Honey
I definitely agree with you Ms. Honey! Ah! You made a lot of valid points. I like that 'con-conspirator' label; a lot of times girls know their role but continue to stay right where they are. They'll learn one day.
What about you Haun?!
I don’t think it’s just the single people provoking them, I think you’re going to do what you want to do because you follow what the trend is. The blind leading the blind is how I see it.
OK…so hear me out. Yes, this love thing is a very tricky game where the rules change and
the good sometimes never win. The old saying “ Can’t help who you love” ties into this so
well. I believe that the norm nowadays is to have someone you love and someone you lust.
Crazyyyyy right!
I don’t believe in sharing so to me I think the whole “side chick” and even
“side n****” is played. Having your cake and still wanting cookies later?! I mean that’s greedy
and for those that just realize it yes I said it “side n****”.
Anyways, for me personally I don’t like to share, missed that day in pre-K; why would I want to have you and then you have her? Or have her then have me? Vice Versus right or nah? Two types of people the ones that watch it happen and the ones that aren’t paying attention.

You have the one’s that has no idea, because of course you don’t post it. And, she doesn’t care too much to find out. But when they find out its either stay or go. The best advice I could give would be to leave. Tend to their needs to only get bare minimum? Don’t you deserve better. I mean to think that you’re the one that would change that person is the kind of cliché. They’re going to change when they‘re ready or want to and it might not be you. Wasting your time catering only for him to be ready for…the next, yup I said it.
Then the famous scenario has happened not to me but think about it, 9 times out of 10 you have people that don’t even realize that they are in group not a relationship and its sad. Here you have the, what you call it Channy, “ Scandalous CHICK” who knows the whole truth and nothing but it. Meaning, she knows what’s going on in the relationship, when it’s bad. She knows what not to say or do to “ piss him off” she’s the Stress Reliever. I say craziest thing is she might be one of your followers on these lovely social networks. She watches not to compete but to successfully get what she sees. But not thinking about how or what she has to do to get there. Conniving, plotting, all to get the same treatment. Makes no sense that your time is spent thinking how to gain or win a battle that you’ve already lost because you found them is how they’ll leave you.
I say them and they because it’s both sex that deal with this game of love. Its just females wear the emotion on their selves. Trust me guys are just as hurt when they find out that they are with the same girl.
If you ladies didn't hit it right on the head two times in a row! I couldn't agree more. It really does suck when you can't help who you love because love makes you do some crazy things. And you're right, there are a lot of people who feel they need to have one they love and one they lust. Well, maybe they don't feel like they need to, but it happens and they do nothing to stop it.
  
Well.... that's about all the time we have for this discussion. Thank you HoneyAddict for your input!
Want to join the next discussion? Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Drop us a line at DivisionELITE@gmail.com
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