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Long Distance Relationships, The Age Old Question - Will it Work?



Some of us endure it, most of us fear it, all of us question will it work? For whatever the reason may be, some of us face the reality of being in long distance relationships. Some 100 miles away, some 1,000. Nonetheless, it's distance, and it's not too easy. No matter how many times the question is pondered upon, unless talked about with your spouse, or at least given some thought, the chance of success for your long distance relationship may be slim. Check out our tips and things we suggest to consider to help your long distance relationship last!

First, and foremost, ask the important questions at the onset. You want to make sure you are both clear on the parameters of the relationship. Setting parameters such as naming your relationship (dating, seeing each other, boyfriend-girlfriend, engaged) as well as defining exclusive (limited to one person,) or non-exclusive. These can be difficult and awkward questions to ask, but will save you great heartache and misunderstanding down the line. Example: "Are you open to the possibility of relocating if the relationship should become more serious?" or "What are you looking to get out of the relationship?" Stating your end goal or ideas will allow each person to maintain what they need. If you're in a more aged relationship and this distance factor is just introduced, you may want to ask questions that specify the already set parameters, for example, "We will both be busy with our schedules, how often should we check in throughout the day?", or "how often do we plan to travel to see each other?".
With technology being the wonderful advantages we have today, it would be wise to consider taking full advantages of them.
-FaceTime
-Instagram
-Twitter, ETC.
BUT make sure you don't let technology be the thing that breaks you guys apart. As much as its a good tool to keep us together. We are all jealous individuals. With that being said, use technology for the greater good.
-Watch movies together (see when a movie is playing you both enjoy and plan to both watch at the same time. Although you won't be together physically, the idea is still there.)

-Send your girlfriend flowers. Seems cheeasy but girls appreciate unexpected things. especially edible arrangements, mmm!
-Send pictures! There's nothing better than seeing the face of your loved one.
-Cook the same meals/ read the same book-- again, this applies how the "watching movies together" tip applies.
-Make a to do list with each other

-fall asleep on the phone. Seems high schoolish but, hey it makes a difference.

-Give them a personal object of yours so in a time of need, when they miss you, they are able to hold on to something that once belonged to you. This will provide comfort, happiness, and the thought of being with you. 
-Don't forget to give space where its needed. Of course you're away from eachother but don't be a worry wart. Give them space just as you would if you guys were in the same area.

Being apart is hard but it would do you well to take advantage of the benefits a long distance relationship offers. When you are away from your spouse, you have more free time, more time to spend with friends and/or family, the pleasure of seeing your sweetheart again after a long absence, time to mull your options (rather than snapping at your partner impulsively) before you respond to that email s/he wrote that seemed so rude the first time you read it, not being dragged into a bunch of chick flicks, etc. Most important, being far apart gives you a chance to maintain your individuality—something that can get lost in the shuffle when couples spend all their free time together. Here are additional benefits of long distance relationships.

A lot of us possess it, but avoid the temptation to be controlling. People have free will and no one can or should control another person. As long as you are both interested in being in the relationship, you will stick with it and distance will not make a difference. As soon as one of you decides the other is not a good match—or someone else is a better match—your relationship ends, whether you live 3000 miles apart, two streets over, or share the same bed with your wedding picture on the wall. You are going to have to trust each other completely if this relationship is going to work. Try to avoid the 21 questions game. Still have concern for his/her whereabouts, but don't become the FBI. It's tricky to stand your ground without being too demanding or controlling, learn to balance it out to where the both of you are comfortable. 

Everyone loves having something to look forward to, try setting a date for when you two reunite where you go to dinner, or a walk in the park; whatever best suits your relationship. It may help time fly until you see each other again because you're counting down the days until you are in each others presence again.
 
Remember that you're still in a relationship. Just because you are away in distance does not mean you should distance yourself. You HAVE to be there for your partner. If your partner is ever in trouble, or hurt, or whatever, you have to be there for them. Make sure you are available to them so that they can reach you if they need you. If they end up dealing with everything alone, they will eventually not need you. And sometimes, distance permitting of course that means being actually, physically there for them.

REMEMBER HUMANS LEARN BY TRIAL AND ERROR, try what you think is best for you, if it doesn't work, don't give up, try again. Try until you and your spouse are content with the distance barrier! When you face the question and consider the cons of a long distance relationship, know that it CAN work. Given the proper time, care, and consideration, distance won't even matter!

 
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